5 STEPS TO THE TOP
ULTIMATE CHEAT-SHEET TO ACHIEVE ANY GOAL
So you set yourself a big goal. Or you are in the process of “looking at the mountain” and being terrified with how far it is to the top. Or you don’t even know what you want, but feel that something needs to change.
Don’t fret. We’re gonna handle it now, no matter how impossible it may seem.
Here I will explain foundations that can be used to achieve anything in life. They are quite generic for that purpose, though I will write some examples for each of them.
I’ll preface with a disclaimer: Of course these are not my original ideas. They have been repeated over and over again in all depths of the internet, “productive” society and throughout all of our history.
This is my interpretation of these concepts, with approach based on my experience.
Sometimes all it takes to finally start making the improvements is to find the matching “voice”.
I hope I can be that voice for you.
Let’s start changing your life
1. Setting the goals.
Very specific goals.
Even if you already have yours – I still recommend you read this. We would want to refine that goal, and I’ll show you how.
So, that goal you will be focused on. It’s not just a normal one. It is an End-Game Deal. Almost (or totally) impossible to complete, but oh so desired.
DREAM BIG.
Meaning, imagine if you could have anything in life, with no restrictions.
Be in that perfect moment when everything comes together.
From this you should be able to write a set of different ideas – your goals. It’s ok if they feel “generic” at this stage.
For example, my own (for this moment) are: complete financial freedom, ability to travel to any country I want, awesome sex life with kinks and threesomes, group of like-minded close friends, complete social freedom, open relationship with a great girl, business running in the background and the ability for me to do only what I actually want.
Now, for these generic goals, focusing on only one at the time, imagine what would be the perfect moment/result and write down all the details you can possibly think of.
Examples of breaking down some of my goals from before:
– “I want to have a group of 5 close friends, living nearby, who are focused on self-improvement, completely honest and real, support each other no matter what and will push me when I need it”.
– “I want to build an open relationship with a girl, who will be affectionate, supportive, self-aware and into self-improvement. I want us to support each other’s goals and help with reflection. I want us to have threesomes and also we can have sex with other people separately. I want her to love travel and us to be able to travel together. We would not have children, but we will build a legacy.”
I hope you get what I mean. As many details as you can (and even more than I shown, if you can).
Imagine you LIVE the result of your goal. DESIRE IT. And write everything down.
Do that with each goal until you rewrite it as specific as it can be.
Why are we doing all of that? For several purposes:
– You get hyped up about your goal – that is a thing you are so passionate about, after all. Though it may take some practice and brainwashing in allowing yourself to believe that you can accomplish this impossible goal.
Imagine that moment when your desire is fulfilled and you are among its results.
Repeat it a couple of times until you start to (at least slightly) feel what you will be feeling. There’s no need to get it to the point of “internalizing”, it can even feel like a “fake”.
Just get to the point of having a pretty definite and desired concept in your head.
This initial hype is not meant to sustain your motivation forever – but it will help a lot at the start with making the first – hardest – steps.
And later you can still tap into it from time to time to deal with some struggles.
Just not overdo it – you don’t want to “live” in the dream – you would want to move towards it.
– It will be easier to know your steps, to adjust them and to track the progress.
Just think about it – which thought is more straightforward for finding a next step and reflecting on the progress: “I want to be rich” or “I want to build a business making 30k$/month, with main focus on lifestyle and self-improvement, not attached to any particular location, which will also help people and make me feel good about it” (That’s mine by the way. You can steal it if you want.)
And you can go into even more specifics, which will make choosing the path even more simple.
Just bear in mind – it will probably change later, when you actually start making it happen. Allow that when the time comes – it is okay.
I’ll once again add the caveat: come up with goals, the result of which you just know you will enjoy immensely.
From these specific goals, pick 1-3 that you would want to focus on immediately. They can be the most desired ones, or the ones that are faster to achieve.
Don’t worry, other things on your list will get addressed too, just a bit later.
It is better not to try handling everything at once.
2. Figuring out your next step
You have your main goal. Now you need to move towards it.
But how?
How can I become a millionaire when I work 5/8 without any spare money?
How can I become ripped when I cannot even do a single pull-up?
How can I be happy with my life when it is hard for me to get up from the bed and feel something?
Here’s the simple answer – you don’t.
You don’t leap all that way in some miraculously star-aligning genie-alien way.
You just don’t, or at least that is highly unprobable and it’s not worth the effort thinking about such luck and relying on it (Though take it if you win that lottery).
What is worth an effort then?
Googling “how to start a business” for 1 minute
Stepping inside the gym and running outside immediately
Making up your bed only to fall down on it seconds later
What? It is lame? Useless?
You don’t feel like you did something?
Guess what. You actually did.
You did a baby step.
You know what else is good about it? You can repeat it again. And again. And then do it for 2 minutes instead of 1. Repeat again. Raise again.
Doing the same thing over and over again, until it doesn’t take your mental energy anymore. Until it is a routine. Right to the point when it feels as a part of you.
And then upping it just a little bit and repeating the process.
You know where it will get you?
Right at the top of your mountain. You don’t need to look at it, you just need to keep taking the steps.
Tiny actions.
One after another, you will get there…
3. Consistency
…but you need to be consistent.
Baby steps are quick and easy to do. And I tell you they will get you to the top.
Yes.
However there is another caveat, of course.
They will get you there only if you do them often and consistently. Best time interval here – every day. Easy to track, easy to not overwhelm yourself.
Good news is – as these steps are small it is easily doable. And if it still interferes too much with your life – you can tweak it until it WILL be doable.
Remember, the “epic crazy actions”, though useful, are not required here. You just have to find something you can do every day.
You would not be preparing to run a marathon by running half of it in your first day.
You start from ten minutes. Repeat it enough times so it turns into hour and more.
These time increments, while sometimes challenging, are not huge leaps. They have just a slightly more effort than the previous ones, supported by consistent repetition to the point of becoming “mundane”.
The same principle applies to our goals too.
Baby steps, repeated every day, with small increments, over enough time will get you where you want to be.
By doing daily consistent actions you build momentum – positive inertia – that makes it easier to repeat it again and also “raise the stakes”.
Even if you are doing less than in the previous day for some reason, it still keeps the momentum going. You don’t have to start from scratch the day after – you can just continue from the step before.
Secondly – consistency is required to build the skill or adjust to efficiency for your goal. Think gym – going there once a month will give you almost no progress compared to 3 days a week.
Bear in mind that consistency may vary with time and skill, especially at the start.
Using the gym example again – when you haven’t been there yet, when it is treated like a “BIG SCARY THING“, just going there once a month is still a huge step forward. Here, consistency means just to keep doing what you’re doing, and incremental progress takes precedence instead – with focus on repeating the previous period and trying to shorten it.
Just going there at least once a month, then the next step – at least once in 3 weeks, etc. Until you hit 3 times a week (or however much is convenient for you) where it becomes your new consistency period.
Also, the most obvious effect of consistency – when you make an effort and take action every day… Well, you move forward every day as well. You will very likely reach your goal faster than if by doing that at random intervals.
4. Never Quit
So the progress is in the making – you are going closer towards your goal, a little bit each day. What remains then?
To reach your goal, you need to stick to doing the actions and don’t quit.
Remember how I told you “It can take some time”?
Well, that is the case – it probably will.
You may be inaccurate in predicting the amount of time it takes – it can happen much earlier, or require much more effort. It is okay, you will learn to be accurate in the process.
No matter how much time it will take, you will only ultimately fail if you decide to stop moving towards it. You can have pauses, you can even have fall-outs, but while you have your goal in mind and keep making consistent effort to reach it – you will get there eventually.
There are always a finite amount of steps to reach any of your goals – you just have to walk them all.
It probably won’t be easy – it rarely is.
You will certainly have a lot of doubts, insecurities and worries along the way – every related fear comes up in the process.
You will have to handle them to keep moving forward.
However, that is a good thing. Why run away from it? It can be hard and sometimes painful, but see it as a gift – you have opportunity to work on something inside yourself.
You are making yourself into the best version you can possibly be, including mindset and mental health.
Some arisen doubts may be along the way of – “Is this even working” and “Why I don’t see the results I want” type.
It is okay, it is working – if you are doing something every day (or some other not-too-big custom period) – you then always make one step forward. Don’t think of the “proper” results for now. Make “did I do something to be slightly closer to my goal today” your main measure of progress.
You taking action IS your success. It is a little win. Try seeing it as such and rejoice.
You may have some bad periods when you just cannot do that daily thing you set yourself up to do.
First of all – don’t stress, bad days are a common thing. It is okay to not do everything you planned.
If it happens for one or a couple of days – accept this reality as it is – you made an effort to do it but just couldn’t make it happen then.
Don’t beat yourself up for it – you still had intention to try, remember? You did the most you could in the moment. Be ok with it and just make another attempt the next day.
Give yourself praise for keeping up with the desire to reach your goal, for keeping it alive in your mind – it is still a success even if the intention is the only thing that remains.
However, if that keeps continuing for some longer time – 1-2 weeks, then it is a good idea to look at it more closely.
Here are the questions for when you feel “in a rut”:
– Maybe you set up too big of a daily goal for yourself?
It is okay, you can change it to something less intense – something that you know you can do every day. Maybe even “cut it in half” and see if it works. You can raise it up again after some time, when it will be more manageable. It is better to do small actions than nothing at all.
– Maybe the circumstances changed and some new variable started affecting your actions?
Look at this new occurrence – when you acknowledge it you can deal with it properly.
It can be something like getting sick – you won’t be able to put as much effort and then just accept doing smaller actions for awhile.
It may be some new person that you devote your time to – again, set up a smaller task for a while or make some compromises.
Every new circumstance can be dealt with in some way – just accept that it is in your life now, try to look for different solutions and pick the most suitable.
It is okay to go with smaller actions – you will probably make less progress, but you will still make it. And later you can raise it once again.
– Maybe you made progress and then stumbled upon some roadblock while going for your goal?
If that obstacle discourages you from being consistent, then it is probably better to clear it first.
Maybe your goal was to improve the skills – like with photography – and you realized that you want to find some information and learn more theory.
It can also be something as straightforward as creating a better diet while going for the weight loss.
It is important to notice and acknowledge it. Treat dealing with this roadblock as the new step towards your goal and focus on it. You are still making progress when you handle “auxiliaries”.
– Maybe you just set yourself a different main priority at that moment in life?
That can happen too – you realize that something takes more precedence over working on your goal. Maybe you had an insight while working on it, or your life changed in some way.
Ask this further if you notice that there are some new focus in your life:
1. Do you still ultimately want to go for your goal?
Think 5-10 years ahead – would you still want to have it in your life?
It is okay at this stage to say no. Yes, you will then officially quit this goal, and that can feel frustrating. But remember – you are not giving it up altogether, regressing and going to your old life – you made progress, gained new perspective and consciously choosing to focus on something else.
The time you spent working on is not going to waste – treat it as an effort to figure yourself out. Now you know that you don’t want this goal, and will focus on something that is closer to your vision.
Remember, we are changing from the moment we are born till the last breath.
2. If you still want to work on your original goal, is the new priority really as important as it seems for you right now?
Again, think in 5-10 years terms – imagine yourself at that time and then look back – will your life be better if you put your effort into this new thing instead of the original one, or work on them in parallel.
If you realize it is not more important than your current one and can wait – praise yourself for noticing one more thing you want in your life, put it in your backlog (that list of desires we compiled while setting goals) and consciously decide to switch back to the original – you will return to that newfound one at the right time for you, I promise – you now know you want it in life, after all.
3. If the new priority is important for you, are you okay with postponing the old one for a while?
You know what I’ll say – yeah, think 5-10 years. Would you be okay at that time if it takes you one more year (or however much you will spend on this new priority) to reach your old goal? If yes – good. If no – here it can get a little bit tricky. Come up with some compromise that is acceptable – work on them in parallel, switch from one to another at some intervals. Accept that it will still probably take more time to work on them simultaneously – but if they are really important and you want progress in both – it will still be progress.
Important reminder here – don’t shove all your goals in parallel with one another, even if you really desire all of them. Overwhelming yourself is counterproductive.
If you already have 3-5 things you are focusing on at the same time – reprioritize.
With all of the above – keep a backlog or a priority list with the things you want. You can rearrange it if required (just try not to do it every day).
Accept that everything in that list will be handled by you eventually in the order that is the best for you.
You are not quitting the goals you put there, you strategically and consciously rearrange them.
My questions are not meant to convince you to stick to your previous goal no matter what.
No.
They are here to stop you making emotional or unconscious decisions – the ones that can be subconsciously created by your previous experiences and stories.
These questions are for you to notice all the things in life that affect you, and choose what is best for current moment.
If you are aware and conscious – any decision is the best decision.
5. Relax.
You have all your life to work on this
You set up your goal. You started doing actions. You repeat them consistently. And you will do that until you reach your goal.
As I said in the previous point – it may take some time.
Here goes the risk of falling into doubts like “I’m not going fast enough”, “It takes too long to see results” or “I’m too old for this”.
And, you know what, they may even be true.
However, it is just that – current reality. The best time to start is still now – it cannot be in the past.
What alternative do you have? Give into complacency, limiting beliefs and lead an average life?
Somewhere deep inside you know that it will not bring you happiness – you know better.
Something tells you – your dreams are possible.
You would not read to this point to just convince yourself that you don’t want it – you know you do.
And I am telling you – it is possible.
You will not give up. You will get what you want eventually.
Then it doesn’t really matter how long it will take.
If you will not ultimately quit improving your life, then every struggle, every “failure” – is not a failure. It teaches you something. It brings you one step closer.
The journey towards your dream can be pretty enjoyable too, if you let it.
It is okay to over-worry at the start – I was like that too. You will learn to be more calm and happy in the process.
You have all your life to work on this.
You will be becoming the better version of yourself until the last breath.
You will not be declining, but improving instead.
It is a beautiful thought.
In conclusion,
Accept your current reality and start changing it.
Find your dreams and move towards them.
Don’t fall into analysis paralysis (awesome article by Mark Manson). Take small actions, starting right now.
Never quit.
Relax – you will eventually get there.
I appreciate you reading this article.
No matter if what I said clicked with you or not, if you got through this wall of text until the end – you definitely have enough desire in you to improve your life.
You will make happen any dreams you have.
I believe in you.
If you want to hit me up for coaching, right now I’m offering coaching calls for free (or you can just donate any amount of money you feel like if I helped you – but no pressure). Click here for that.
