Preface: This is the article I wrote at one of the “low” days, feeling really angry and shitty.
It doesn’t have a lot of positive thinking – it is not the purpose.
I share it here to show that I am not perfectly positively-minded all the time – I am a flawed human being, I can have down moments. I actually have a lot of them.
What matters is how you then deal with these feelings…
Will you beat yourself down into the more despair and misery?
Or will you still try to turn it around and use this “negative” energy for something?
This choice is always up to you.
Don’t try to be perfect. But keep in mind, that every problem has a solution.
I am going through the empty morning streets of my city, heading to my gym.
It is hard to get out of the house and start moving.
I have routines for that, I’m relieved when they work.
But when I start, when the protective shell of my house is behind me – well it is positive momentum from now on.
It is easier to go with the flow, allow the time to carry me whenever it can
Music blasts into my ears. My favorite band. The phrase echoes in my mind “Maybe tomorrow will be a better day”
I have tears in my eyes.
That is what I needed to hear today.
It will get me through.
It is an escape.
When my immediate hopes shatter.
When the promise of a fleeting peace is broken.
Then that is all I can count upon.
The only rule that will keep me existing.
To never quit.
To believe in the possibility of remote success.
To push through whatever I feel and persevere.
I’m gonna finish this walk.
Then my workout.
And I’m gonna return back to life.
I’m gonna face my routines. My meetings. Keep up with my diet. Have counselings. Put my face out there, raw, on camera.
Push other people forward with what energy I have left.
Cry from mental exhaustion.
Distract myself with games and videos.
And go to sleep.
To wake up next morning.
To my eternal grind.
To find at least something I can channel my anger towards.
For it to be a positive force and not destructive.
To be one step closer to my dreams.
To build the best possible version of myself, each and every day.
When I would quit before. I will outlast.
When previous me would have broken and sat in depression. I get up and go forward through pain and discomfort, screaming if I need to.
I will never quit.
I made this promise to myself.
It keeps me going.
As much as I want to, as much as I focus on happiness, peace and gratitude, it’s not always sun and rainbows.
Sometimes all you can do is to make the best out of a situation you have.
Sometimes all you can do is channel anger and pride into action.
It is not perfect.
But it is the best I can do.
And that is enough.
The life can kick me in the face over and over again – and I will come back and look it deep in the eyes each fucking time.
Everyone around me can disappoint and hurt me – and I will use every bit of my resolve to see good in them.
Even complacency sometimes gets over me. Some glimpse of immediate comfort and carefree life.
I may indulge for a while. But it is impossible to do for long.
Would I want to?
Mediocrity doesn’t attract me.
Only the top of the mountain does.
I may scream. I may cry.
It doesn’t really matter.
As long as the path keeps pulling me forward.
As long as there is the next step to make.
I will make it, no matter what it’ll cost me.
Or I’ll die trying.
I may be frustrated. I may be confused. I may be angry. I may be sad. I may be lonely.
I may want pity. Or I may hate it the very next moment.
It doesn’t fucking matter.
I see the light before me.
Nothing will stop me from reaching it.
If I need to go through blood and tears then so be it.
It will be worth it at the end.
The ones who will stick with me will share the gifts of my labor.
The ones who don’t want to – can stay far behind.
I don’t care.
My world is for the winners.
I refuse entry to anyone else.
If you want to go with me – be ready for it. Want to be the better version.
Be ok with fucking up.
Face your fears.
Not run away from them.
That I will not tolerate.
You won’t be able to keep up otherwise, even if you wanted to.
I cannot help you if you won’t decide to be better for yourself.
And if you do…
If you are ready to go all in – which means to not give up, accept responsibility and fight for your dreams…
Then greatness awaits us.
There’s no point in stopping on this path.
There’s no point in mediocrity.
We won’t stop until we reach the elite.
Fuck all the rest.
We will never quit.
See you on top of the mountain.