Today is an exciting topic for me.
I recently met with a friend who, despite knowing not much about her, I trusted very much.
That caused me to go deeper into the nature of trust.
Why do I trust people in my life?
And how it is even possible to deeply trust someone who I haven’t known for years…
It seems that for me that trust consists of two parts:
First – how that person relates to me.
Beliefs, life views need to be close to mine. Or at least related to core of my beliefs – conscious “good” intentions.
This is why I want to completely trust only some of the people, not all of them.
However, the Second part is probably the most important:
Trust for other people is only possible when I trust myself.
No matter how much that close person can relate to me, be same-minded and with good intentions…
It Just Would Not Work if I wouldn’t be able to trust that I am able to support me in any situation.
It is not about belief that this person will always support, be there or do something for me.
Not that they will never do something to hurt or disappoint me.
In fact, they will.
They always, eventually, WILL hurt or disappoint me…
Then trusting them is possible only when I know that everything will still be alright when it happens.
I know that I can handle that hurt when it comes.
My life will continue no matter what, for as best as it can, afterwards.
Then they cannot really hurt me, right?
In the long-term it will still be good for me, without regard to what actually ends up happening.
Then I can trust them completely.
Then I can see that they mean only good, no matter what they do.
Then I can enjoy their presence without worrying about the future.
If the complete trust in myself is there, it is easy to trust anyone else.
My first point – about relating and having same-minded people to trust – then becomes just a matter of “who adds to my life”.
Not, “who I can rely upon”.
There is no bitterness, worry, jealousy or regret. There is only peace, love and acceptance.
Then, if I know that person ultimately will make my life better, they need to go out of their way to break that trust.
And if they do… Well, I don’t really lose anything.
It was a nice addition, a bonus. But definitely not a requirement.
I don’t need them to give or do anything for me to create my trust. I already have it in me.
I already trust myself.
It is like any of Byron Katie’s inquiries with a turnaround –
the thought “I need to trust that person” becomes “I need to trust myself“
It is the absolute truth.
The most beautiful thing is, you – the you reading this article – will be the only person in your life who won’t change.
He or she wouldn’t go anywhere – they will always be around.
You will know you completely.
So, when you build trust in yourself, it is there to stay.
Magical thing happens when I can give love and trust to whoever I want, allowing whatever happens – happen.
When I give it to them, I give it to myself.
It mirrors back. My life becomes much better.
It is a matter of view on life –
I created the world where I can do that.
Now I am happy to live in it.