This is a controversial topic. I will have some days scheduled for them at some point in the future, but damn I want to write about it now.
I know, having choices is a beautiful thing.
I love that we can make them, decide what path to take, that it is not all preordained. Or even if it is, I like that we cannot know that for sure – because what is the point of living the life then – it’s gonna be hella boring. I will always push for creating MORE of the choices. Or at least realising which of them you already have.
Whatever choices you have – TAKE OWNERSHIP of them. Focus only on the decisions you can make, the ones which really DO matter to your life. And throw away all other shit that you’ve been dealt with and cannot change – if you cannot work with it, it makes no sense to dwell on it. Don’t try to move the mountain, accept that it still gonna stay there no matter what. Go around. Climb it up.
Or blow it to pieces.
But all that premise brings me to the point of this article.
When we have choices we are gonna choose what is right for us in the moment. What we consider is right.
Going by a way of least resistance is the most usual decision – after all, why spend the energy on something when it can be just as well saved for later?
And if we really believe in something, if we KNOW it is better, if we perceive it as more fulfilling, then we can choose to spend more effort and energy on something harder. All is good, right?
Until ANXIETY BREAKS IN
Fears, insecurities, negative stories, painful memories, limiting beliefs, excuses…
If what we wanted to do is relatively simple, it can be just a minor setback. Minutes, hours, maybe days of procrastination but finally we go and get it done. We handle a few of these thoughts that come up, decide that it is still important to us and do the deed.
If what we set ourselves up to do associated with serious (life)long endeavour/problem – searching for a job, moving cities (or even countries), starting a business, getting in/out of the relationship, talking to random girls on the street it is not that simple anymore. We handle an excuse and three more show up. We deal with them – oh, there’s another bunch! “Surely it will end someday, I can solve all of them”
But it seems the list is infinite.
We get buried under it for months, years and, probably, our whole life.
Getting help from outside helps. Or going into the mind and working with it, meditations work too.
Still, in my experience, with the hardest decisions that took years too.
But in the course of that, especially with the recent events I’ve been to, there are a solution that works almost immediately.
We will do what we need to do if we won’t have other choice.
Now hear me out here. I am not saying to convince ourservles that we have no choice – that happens already all-the-time. That is just fighting the hard and cold reality. It doesn’t help anything to take away our authority over what IS.
I am talking about consciously, literally and PHYSICALLY stripping away ALL OTHER choices but the one WE NEED.
It is a dangerous play. It can backfire greatly.
But when executed correctly, it gives us our life back.
By taking away ability to go other directions in some heavy decision, we free up resourses that were spent dwelling and considering all the outcomes.
There Is No Point Thinking About The Absolute. It just exists.
Somehow, even without our input, our mind knows this. It doesn’t think, it just acts.
I left my country and everything behind, by leaving myself no choice to stay and return, physically and mentally.
I internalised experience of “relying on myself”, by consciously ending up in the middle of a mountain without anyone nearby to help.
I will learn SO MUCH from the coaching I’m in, because I used all my money and got into debts for it.
There is another big decision for me on the horizon, where I will strip away my choice to capitalize on what remains and go all in.
This Process Forces Us To Go All-In
By physically stripping other choices choice, we literally put ourselves in the corner. The only thing that remains is lash out.
We are hitting rock bottom. But in a controlled matter.
We’re tapping into primordial fight or flight response. But from the position of authority.
Of course, we need to be be really conscious with using this technique. It is mandatory to consider consequences before doing it.
It will always take a toll. On everything. There will be sacrifices. There probably will be long recovery period.
I was pulling myself together for months after moving, for days after my mountain trip.
Depending on the severity there can even be a real danger to life.
Pros and cons have to be weighed carefully.
But it can produce powerful results that would be hard to get otherwise. We can create precedents. We can unlock previously inaccessible parts of our lives.
Having no choice in life is a weak position.
Deciding to have no choice in life is taking control over it.
Use it wisely.